Ok, when I worked for my last company, every 12 months, they'd introduce some emotionally-tied, grand idea that would supposedly change our lives. They'd introduce it at a company meeting with great fanfare: videos/audio/presentations/PowerPoint. Sometimes, they'd make us, get this, do book reports on the new theory. And, just as horrid, present or discuss how the new theory could be put to use in our professional or personal lives. We went through 212 Degrees, Getting Things Done, the Randy Pausch video/book, and many more. I left before the most recent African-inspired team building - there wasn't a team left.
What does this have to do with love?
When the company would introduce these grand plans, I believed them or made myself believe them. I was a company cheerleader but took it to heart too. I was of the: LET'S DO THIS! reaction. But, over time, I was troubled by the careless discarding of what we were once told to embrace. And what I did embrace. The old theories were barely mentioned after being introduced and never appeared again.
What does this have to do with love?
When a man has told me he loves me, I've believed him. When I embrace the concept (if you will), I say it back. When we split up, I have the same reaction as my company discarding emo-organizational motivational pulp: If it meant something deep to you, how can you so easily move on? This happens even when I've done the breaking up. A little piece of me goes with any "I love you" level of relationship because I really believed it.
I think, fundamentally, most men and women think differently about love and the "I love you" phrase. Some of my friends have opined that for men, "I love you" means "I like having you around," or, "I like the way I feel when I'm around you." I think, for women, it is something deeper. We are supposedly more emotional after all. To point, two friends of mine are dating. He tells her he loves her constantly but she won't say it back. He told me he doesn't understand why she won't say it. She told me "I love you" means something deeper to her so she doesn't just want to throw it out there. I think she's got the right idea.
So guys, think before you use the magic phrase. And me? Don't be confused if I don't say it back or if I ask you to explain what it means to you.
That is, if I ever date again.
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