A friend responded to my blog on the use of "I love you" and made some rather good points. But, to me, the best was this one:
"In the end it is the decision to love someone that drives me. Feelings and hormones may come and go; however, that decision is persistent and eternal. It may not sound romantic; however, not all of us are hardwired to be romantic."
". . . (T)he decision to love someone . . ." That's really it, isn't it? So many people blurt out an initial, "I love you" in a moment of emotion. So few make a conscious decision to love someone and keep loving them. We behave as if love is an overriding force outside of our control - we fall in and out of love. Perhaps if we accept that the romantic emotion of "love" comes and goes, and instead focused on the decision to love someone (faults and all) and to keep loving that person, we'd be more content.
Just a few thoughts to ponder . . .
Epilogue/Addendum 4/23/2011
I finished a novel last night and one passage seemed eerily familiar to the blog above. (I found the novel rather boring and cliched - full of brand name dropping - one more mention of Viking stoves and I would have assumed the author was being paid by them.) So, emily giffin (her spelling) wrote:
"But maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. and maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."
Still pondering life . . . damn it.
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