I got bored with blogging.  Aaaaaannnd, I'm back.

So what is swirling in my brain tonight?

Happy Coincidences

Not to be confused with happy endings.  Though, I suppose enough happy coincidences might lead . . . well nevermind. 

It was a weird day.

I took a key ring off my car keys and went to get an oil change.  There was an empty key ring on the counter. 

I walked while they were doing the oil change, finding a small store that sold cheap tacky clothes - perfect for the red dress I needed to get for Hallowe'en weekend. I bought 4.  I didn't want to spend the $ but it was karma to find the shop.

I needed a viking helmet.  I missed the turn for the parking garage to the Hallowe'en shop. I turned the corner and there was one empty spot on the street.

I didn't see any viking helmets, then, one was at my feet. In the Roman gladiator section.  Hail Caesar . . . and Thor.

Needed a long straight branch for my costume to use as a staff.  Drove to the rec. area.  Found a 4' branch, but not what I wanted.  Then passed a guy loading firewood. Asked him if he had a 5-6' straight branch I could have.  He snapped one off for me (yeah, I wrote that).  Turns out he was not with park services but just taking the wood. (The self-help folks in LA rival anywhere. But that's another story.)

I spent more $$ than I wanted to today.  I'm on a tight "budget" this week and when I got home, I wondered if it was wise to buy the extra dresses.  Later, I started clearing out junk.  Like a bag of birthday cards from last year.  Which had $100 cash in it. Which is almost exactly what I spent today. (Oil change $44/costumes $48/$helmet $13/masks $7)

Happy coincidences!

Simple Is As Simple Does, NOT!

So, let's see.  In my last post, I was to step 10 of the 3 steps in shipping a vehicle.  The simple steps are:


1. Hire a company;
2. Pay them;
3. Have vehicle delivered.


Hell, that's 2 steps: 1. Hire/pay a company; 2. Have vehicle delivered/pay remainder.


I was at: 10. Start contacting other companies . . . to be continued . . .

I forgot step 9.5 - Joyce doesn't contact me for two weeks so I tell her if they can't get a driver to take my vehicle, I am going to contact a transportation company, not a broker, so I can get the vehicle shipped.

Step 9.75: I get an email within a day from the brokerage (not a peep from Joyce) telling me my car will be picked up the next day.  For $250 more than Joyce had told me. I just have to sign the form and fax it back.

Disbelief.

Step. 9.9: Call and email Joyce and the brokerage that not only am I NOT signing the form; I'm reporting them to MasterCard - and I want my $150 "deposit" back (which turns out not to be a deposit but the brokerage's fee).

Step 9.99: Joyce replies quickly to tell me "there's no reason to contact MasterCard. We will refund your money right away."  She tells me this twice in a panicked voice.

Now back to Step 10 and forward.

Step 11: Listen to the pitches from another 10 companies.
Step 12: Reply to Frank. Listen to his excited fast-paced pitch.  Tell him I've had a bad experience and ask if they own their trucks - are they a transportation company, not a brokerage?  Frank says they own their trucks.
Step 13: Agree on a price ($1,000 which ironically is the price the other company had tried to jack me up to.  However, the market has changed and this is now about the going rate.) Explain I have to arrange for someone to be in MI for pick up & I have limited time to be in LA for delivery due to required travel.  Frank says not a problem, will pick up vehicle by Friday so it is delivered before I leave, or wait so it is delivered after I come home.

Next Steps - "Frank Fucks Up"

Simple, My Life It Is Not

Channeling a little Yoda there.  I wasn't sure whether to note this under "Damn IT's LA" blog or here.  I decide here because I don't think it specific to LA. Read on, I think you'll see what I mean.

I am unable to get anything of note in my personal life accomplished in a straightforward manner.  Let's start with sending my vehicle from MI to CA, a task 1,000s of other people do every month.  Let's number the steps, shall we?

July
1. Discussion with HR contact at new employer who recommends a company that moved someone's daughter. Get contact info.
2. Contact 1st vehicle shipping co. (let's call him Frank b/c that was his name).  Frank quotes vehicle for $1400 to ship as part of moving household goods.
3. Ask Frank if that is his best price as it seems really high. Frank replies they don't move vehicles as a business, just as part of household moves.
4. Since Frank's household moving quote seems really high as well, decide to shop around and somehow (I've blocked it out of my memory like some sort of PTSD), fill out a form on some website that I want quotes from companies that do this as their main biz.
5. Receive approx. 20 different emails, each one saying other companies will lie and cheat, but this one is honest - big deal made of "5 star" rating (more on this later)
6. Had listed my phone number (EPIC MISTAKE) - as emails flood in, calls start.  Weirdly, they are all from FL. Apparently FL is the world capital of shipping cars. Or low budget call centers & sketchy telemarketers.
7. Get email and a call from "Joyce" and figure she can't be any worse than the rest.  Return her call.
8. Joyce is going to do the consultative sell.  Asks me if I'm familiar with the process, (no), and explains in great detail about everyone using the "board" and blah, blah, blah, do I want to see a screenshot of it? I'm an info. junkie and have never heard of the "board" before so, yeah, Joyce, hook me up.
9. Get back to work while email offers pour in like Nigerian Internet scams (they should be combined: "Bless You! I am an orphan shipping cars across this blessed land because I cannot get my deceased Uncle's Swiss francs from the bank account.")
10. Start contacting other companies . . . to be continued . . .

"With Autumn Closin' In"

A little theme music as I was struck by an oddity today, http://youtu.be/mbv-LcdLY-Y

Around this time last year, I was planning on picking apples for the 1st time with my then BF and his kids.  I thought I'd marry this guy & spend my Autumns with him.

And I really liked picking apples!

Fast forward, I'm now in LA, driving down the highway, a Midwest Autumn becoming a memory - BF is exBF and there's not an apple tree in sight or in my future.

So, funny how the night (or your life) moves.  With Autumn closin' in . . .

http://youtu.be/_mRFWQoXq4c

Guys, Skip Reading This Post

Ok, just females left, right?  I've been traveling extensively in the last 2 months and I cannot believe how heavy & wrecked my purse has become (last guy still reading that was PURSE, you still have time to stop).  Since I need to clean it out anyway, a purse inventory:

Damn, It's Heavy! Purse Inventory
checkbook
wallet
quarter coin purse
2 flyers for Hertz Rent a Car
cellphone
boarding passes and holder
notepad
teabag
envelope with receipts
my business cards
other people's business cards
cellphone earpiece
passport
3 pairs of gold earrings
7 key rings with multiple keys (TSA couldn't believe this one and had my purse emptied out LOL)
2 lipsticks
1 pair earphones
hotel receipt in envelope
eyeglass case/eyeglasses
garage door opener
USB cable in unopened plastic bag
dollar bill floating around
2 small Altoids tins
1 lip brush
1 Burt's Bees lip balm
8 pens (!)
pill case
Best Buy rewards card
3 hair elastics
90 coins in the bottom of purse = $7.89
22 bits of paper - receipts, lottery ticket, notes, Chinese fortune ("A job well done is half begun" - not very Chinese proverb sounding, is it?)

I think this is a record for a non-tote-style purse.

LA LA LA LA LA

Ok, moving to LA.  And it really is a different world.  So, I started a new blog "Damn It's LA" for chronicling the experience.  Come along if you dare.

Best Garage Sale - Evah!

It was a dark and stormy night. Nah, it was a weekend garage sale - where you find yourself haggling over a $1 difference for some trivial piece of crap. (And feel victorious if you get your way.) Saturday is 88 degrees and we are sitting in plastic stacking chairs, slowly sweating our lives out. 

Enter the magical Phillip.

Beers appear; laughter appears; a whisky & coke fer mommy. The hot neighbor, wearing a black t-shirt so tight we can see HIS nipples comes over and, though refusing our beer, drinks his coffee (refusing our offer of Bailey's for it) and shows no sign of wanting to leave. (His wife has just taken off for the weekend.)

Phillip is "supposed" to leave at noonish. This does not happen - he gives up looking at his watch by mid afternoon.

Phillip and mommy start explaining to sober people who show up the long histories of the p.o.s. (piece of shit, dear reader) they might be glancing at.  In great detail. And completely made up.

And then they start telling people how these items will improve their lives; that they "need" them. They also start offering people beer.

Phillip and mommy are banned from talking to the customers.

The beering continues. Mommy gets a "freshen up" whisky & coke; we make our way through Oberon; Sleeman; Moosehead; and into Canadian. Hotness neighbor wanders back home but comes back for another extended stay. He brings gin & tonic over for all.  I ponder keeping him at our sale as a prop - most customers are female & my neighborhood is also chock full o' gay men.  Can't go wrong!

But eventually his neighborly hotness must go home as he has company coming over. He's served his purpose anyway: prop; purchaser (he bought $20 of stuff -including an exBF's Xmas gift - SWEET!); and visual entertainment.

Phillip picks up on the exBF theme - "just how many items here are from exes?" he asks. My survey of the table reveals three exBFs are represented.  Including one I broke up with over 20 years ago!

And this is how the afternoon plays out.  If we aren't making fun of the people buying my crap we are making fun of each other.  So much so that while the sale ended at 4; we are still sitting around after 5.

We end the afternoon on a high - the last customer who wanders into our mirth with his too small camo cap can't tell us what he did in the Army before he retired (can they ever?) but as we get through military secret discussions into bizarreness, voluntarily displays the CCW pistol on his hip. A sober me might have wondered if he meant to rob us.  Ah, but a drunk me is a thing of innocence and unicorns.  So instead, I ask him the caliber and where/how often he goes for target practice.

And all ends well.